MAKING FRIENDS
“share a secret. create shared experiences. listen more.”
The Lesson
Making friends follows predictable patterns. (1) Share a small secret. Reciprocity kicks in and they feel trusted, therefore friendly. (2) Create shared experiences. Military buddies, college roommates bond for life because of shared intensity. Join activities where bonding happens naturally (tennis, golf, kids' events). (3) Be an organizer or befriend one. Organizers introduce you to dozens of people. (4) Give more than you get. Complainers get avoided, helpers get invited. (5) Use Dale Carnegie's approach. Ask questions, listen, let them talk. They'll think you're incredible without knowing why. (6) Find commonality through basic questions. Name, job, kids, hobbies, vacations.
Real-World Example
A founder new to a city wants to build a network. Wrong approach: wait to be invited. Right approach: Join a tennis league (shared activity), find the super-organizer in the group (they know everyone), share small vulnerabilities ('I'm still figuring out this city'), ask questions at events ('What brought you here? What do you do?'). Within months, your network compounds through the organizer's introductions.
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